There is a light shining ahead on my way of life. It is Madam Curie, or the spirit of Madam Curie.

It was in high school that I read her biography written by her young daughter. Mother said I read too many this kind of books when I was young which made me to choose this way of life, to be a researcher. I don’t think so, however.  The only two books I read in my middle school about famouse people are the biography of Madam Curie and President Lincon. But I think their story are well known to a lot of people, not only to me. Yes, I read some more in my university, but I had made my decision then.

Madam Curie is my idol since then. I know I am so far away from her both in personalities and gift. But I hope I can follow her way of life. However later, I found I wouldn’t be happy to lead a life like hers because we are such different kind of women. And at that time I realized  it is her spirit that should be my idol. I do not need to lead a similar life with hers.

Today I watched an old movie about her made in 1940s, a colorless movie. I was moved again and am still. Yes, even talented like Marie, she was not so clear about what area of research she wanted to devote her life to at first. Everyone needs something we call "good luck" to find his own dream. For Marie, this "good luck" is her husband. If she had not got the chance to work in her future hubby’s lab, she would not get the chance to know some magic invisable radiation hidden in some black rocks. And if it is not her hubby’s engagement, she would stay in Poland as a teacher. For me, the ‘good luck’ is Qinghua Event about 4 years ago. If it was not that failure, I wouldn’t come here to try some other research area. If I was not here, I wouldn’t watch a movie called The Constant Gardener. If it was not that movie, I would not care about  PLHIV. And it is these people that reminded me my original dream in my high school.

I remembered very clearly that in the second year of my high school, a report on newspaper about laser in cancer research said laser can help us to know how cancer happens in our body.  Later, when I prepared for my entrance exam for university, I read an essay about optical computation which is related to laser technology in a Chinese test paper. The two reports impressed me so much that though I knew nothing about laser then I felt laser was such a magic light that can do a lot of fabulous things. So I chose laser as my major in my university. However, several years of study made me lost and forget the original reason that made to make this choice. Because I was lost, I ever underwent some belief collaption. Because I was lost, I had no judgement for which area to study. I knew I don’t like only designing laser. I wanted to apply it. But how and where to apply? Fortunately, now I know it and it is very clear to me. My consideration in the period of belief collaption is not a waste. It helps me to build up a belief framwork. I finally find the work that I want to devote my whole life to. And more lucky, I have this chance to join some group in this area.

Among all the things in people’s life, I think health is the most important one. So my future research will focus on some biomedical application of laser techniques. It belongs to fundamental research. Though maybe it is still too far away from clinical treatment to some disease, but these research can help us to reveal the secret of life. This is my terminal goal, my dream and I am sure it is my future supervisor’s too. He ever told me since he had some ideas about this research, he has worked for 18years to this stage. I have at least 2 eighteen years and definetely can go further than him.

I have some ideas on my future projects but don’t know where to start from and how to start the program. But Marie didn’t know either at this stage. She even didn’t have no idea. The only thing she knew at that time was just what she wanted to do.I cannot concentrate all my mind to my research because I have a lot of interests in life. But hope I can hold on my dream all my life,  never giving up.

I know it is a long long trip. And as a girl and human beings, I wish a man to travel with me all the way. But if there is no, I will go on by myself. It is hard for me to give up this dream for someone or something else. My only wish is I am brave enough to face to all the faliures in this progress.

It is not a dark trip, neither a lonely trip at all, for there is a light shining ahead.

It’s my life.




爱折腾的人;喜欢独处和群居的人;单身的人;让梦想照进现实的人;有一点矛盾的人;常年不守在爸妈和朋友身边的人;恋家恋旧的人; 不算太笨的人;喜欢物理的人;兴趣爱好太多的人……唉,哥们儿姐妹们自个心里都清楚哈,我是个怎样的人:)


3.你会跟自己最爱的人or 最爱自己的人结婚?为什么?





童童今儿中午打算要做的事情,最后只把有关吃的那两件做了,买了芒果,只买了一个;做了土豆烧牛肉,有点失败:(逛街街也没去,因为太晒了,我打着伞还觉得小脸被晒得很不舒服。游泳呢?因为不会做土豆烧牛肉,回到家在网上查菜谱查了半天,等做完吃完,就快八点了,懒得出门了。忽然又想看Amily Dickinson的诗了,从网上巴拉出来,一点也看不进去。 我发现我现在课余时间除了琢磨吃,干啥都觉得累脑子,真真是一只只知道吃的小猪了:(小艾艾交了我一招,说烧牛肉的时候加上点茶叶牛肉比较容易烂,嗯,我下回儿做做试试。





      这半个月童童忙活着写毕业论文呢。原本还优哉游哉的,觉得时间挺充分的,结果那天一下通知,说论文提交定在7月底,论文答辩定在8月底,我又咨询了他们一下毕业手续,还挺麻烦,才觉得时间真是紧张啊。虽然数据都有了,但是有好多分析要做,这就要现编程序哦。童童一想到编程就发怵,以前没用过这计算软件,也没怎么编过程序,这软件都有啥function可以直接用来计算,我也不知道哦。所以,不知道花多长时间才能编出来。因为要分析数据的好几个方面,所以有好几个程序要编。现在我给逼到这份儿上了,不得不看啦,结果发现,不算难哦。反正基本逻辑都一样,function的名称啊操作方式啊不同。不过郑哥哥给寄了一本教程,需要啥去查查就好啦。结果,童童玩儿了一上午,就把基本东西搞明白啦,然后又花了半天时间编了几个小程序。反正复杂的程序我还编不了,这几个小程序还是没问题啦,分析数据够用拉:) 现在,分析已经完成,论文写得就快啦,花了一个星期,统统写完啦,就是参考文献还需要加好多。这是我最发愁的了,我喜欢仔细研读一篇参考文献,读透了它,其他的大体看看就好。所以,不管写国内的论文还是这里的论文,我的参考文献都很少,不够数。我这里的老板可好啦,他理解我的学习方式,还帮我找了一些参考文献(哎,主要是他拿我也很无奈拉)。对于实验现象的解释,现在人们也没搞清楚。不过呢,我根据我们的结果作了一下猜想,好像还能说得通哦,等老板改完了我们再讨论讨论吧。这实验是个很麻烦的一大套实验,我现在只是做了一个头,刚开始。后面的工作只能在招人来做了。就是可惜了我的劳动成果,系统的设计和建造以及控制程序分析程序都是我和老板一起做的,后面来的人就是多做几个样品用这些程序分析一下就好,虽然麻烦,但是不费太多脑子,找找样品的不同物理参数对样品性质的影响。我做的真正开发性原创性的部分却一篇论文也落不着发表,亏啦~~