There is a light shining ahead on my way of life. It is Madam Curie, or the spirit of Madam Curie.

It was in high school that I read her biography written by her young daughter. Mother said I read too many this kind of books when I was young which made me to choose this way of life, to be a researcher. I don’t think so, however.  The only two books I read in my middle school about famouse people are the biography of Madam Curie and President Lincon. But I think their story are well known to a lot of people, not only to me. Yes, I read some more in my university, but I had made my decision then.

Madam Curie is my idol since then. I know I am so far away from her both in personalities and gift. But I hope I can follow her way of life. However later, I found I wouldn’t be happy to lead a life like hers because we are such different kind of women. And at that time I realized  it is her spirit that should be my idol. I do not need to lead a similar life with hers.

Today I watched an old movie about her made in 1940s, a colorless movie. I was moved again and am still. Yes, even talented like Marie, she was not so clear about what area of research she wanted to devote her life to at first. Everyone needs something we call "good luck" to find his own dream. For Marie, this "good luck" is her husband. If she had not got the chance to work in her future hubby’s lab, she would not get the chance to know some magic invisable radiation hidden in some black rocks. And if it is not her hubby’s engagement, she would stay in Poland as a teacher. For me, the ‘good luck’ is Qinghua Event about 4 years ago. If it was not that failure, I wouldn’t come here to try some other research area. If I was not here, I wouldn’t watch a movie called The Constant Gardener. If it was not that movie, I would not care about  PLHIV. And it is these people that reminded me my original dream in my high school.

I remembered very clearly that in the second year of my high school, a report on newspaper about laser in cancer research said laser can help us to know how cancer happens in our body.  Later, when I prepared for my entrance exam for university, I read an essay about optical computation which is related to laser technology in a Chinese test paper. The two reports impressed me so much that though I knew nothing about laser then I felt laser was such a magic light that can do a lot of fabulous things. So I chose laser as my major in my university. However, several years of study made me lost and forget the original reason that made to make this choice. Because I was lost, I ever underwent some belief collaption. Because I was lost, I had no judgement for which area to study. I knew I don’t like only designing laser. I wanted to apply it. But how and where to apply? Fortunately, now I know it and it is very clear to me. My consideration in the period of belief collaption is not a waste. It helps me to build up a belief framwork. I finally find the work that I want to devote my whole life to. And more lucky, I have this chance to join some group in this area.

Among all the things in people’s life, I think health is the most important one. So my future research will focus on some biomedical application of laser techniques. It belongs to fundamental research. Though maybe it is still too far away from clinical treatment to some disease, but these research can help us to reveal the secret of life. This is my terminal goal, my dream and I am sure it is my future supervisor’s too. He ever told me since he had some ideas about this research, he has worked for 18years to this stage. I have at least 2 eighteen years and definetely can go further than him.

I have some ideas on my future projects but don’t know where to start from and how to start the program. But Marie didn’t know either at this stage. She even didn’t have no idea. The only thing she knew at that time was just what she wanted to do.I cannot concentrate all my mind to my research because I have a lot of interests in life. But hope I can hold on my dream all my life,  never giving up.

I know it is a long long trip. And as a girl and human beings, I wish a man to travel with me all the way. But if there is no, I will go on by myself. It is hard for me to give up this dream for someone or something else. My only wish is I am brave enough to face to all the faliures in this progress.

It is not a dark trip, neither a lonely trip at all, for there is a light shining ahead.

It’s my life.