2004年12月07日

我的第一个实验总算是做完了,虽然磕磕绊绊的,但是还算成功。几千个数据是我一个人采集的,下面的工作是对这些数据做一下处理,理论上分析一下,然后就开始动手写我的第一篇论文了。今天想把实验阶段的心得稍作总结。

万事开头难,实验开始并不是很顺利。师兄在实验的前期准备上帮了我很大的忙,教了我一些操作技巧,这些仪器用了很多年了,他们有自己的脾气,我不熟。我们的器材也不全,要四处借,借来了还要根据自己的条件把他们按装起来,并且尽可能的方便使用提高测量精度。实验之前看了几天的论文,说实在的理论上我并没有弄得很通,好多式子看不懂,师兄和我研究的也不是一个方向,很多东西知道的也不多,但是还是很鼓励我,要我先开始做实验,做做就会有一点体会,慢慢就懂了。在这里,真得很感谢他给予的支持!

一切准备好了后,开始动手了。狭缝扫描测量晶体的热焦距是个很麻烦的试验,需要改变3~4个量,每个变量就是20多个数据,前后弄下来得上千个,而且每个数据都要调节某一个变量才能得到。我从小就不是个安静的人,一开始坐不住,总是测几组就跑到电脑跟前玩玩。我记得以前有位学长说过,做实验做研究最需要的就是耐心。所以当我坐不住的时候,我就跟自己说,我是有耐心的, 就看我肯不肯给了。两天后我很高兴的发现自己竟然坐住了,进步很快啊。这是我有生以来第一次意识到内心里的这种自我肯定自我激励竟然会有这么大的作用。

实验中也遇到过小小的挫折。由于我不知道什么时候不小心碰了什么装置,把激光腔给改变了,而且改变很大,几乎没有输出功率,也就是工作物质基本上不工作了。我缺乏经验,当我发现测量的数据怪怪的时候,我还觉得说不定人家原来就是这样的呢,这也有可能是个新现象,有待我去理论解释。可是越测量越不对劲,我才想到看看腔还有没有在正常工作,才发现原来腔已经不工作了。这使我前几天采集的数据都白费了,因为只有在相同的激光腔工作条件下所采集的数据才有可比性,才能发现其中的规律。这让我很懊恼,懊恼的是自己怎么能这么不小心,还是那么毛毛躁躁的,怎么能那么不敏感, 才发现问题,更重要的是,由于我的实验失败会导致师兄他们试验的进度延迟,我不愿意拖别人的后腿。那天晚上我真得很难过,可是难过是没有用的,唯一的办法就是抓紧时间重新再来。还好,这一次成功了,经过三天的努力,总算做完了,我很开心。

这是我第一次的科学实验,是挑战,是磨练,但是很有意思,很刺激,每次发现数据有新的变化的时候,这些变化总能刺激你的大脑去思考。收获当然是不言而喻的,发现了自己的弱点,有很多东西自己还很欠缺,有待以后进一步提高!

2004年11月02日

My name in QQ (a tool for chatting in internet) is light, and all my friends say it is so professional. I like this name because it is my major. Furthermore, it is light of hope, light of love and light of belief.


 


But now my study life drops into a black hole with no hope and no belief. How does this happen?


 


Unlike some of my classmates, I was not transferred to this department when I went to university. I ever transferred from one school to another when I was in high school, so I missed the Optics part in physics. I made great effort to study these knowledge all by myself. At the same time, I read two articles about Optical computer and curing cancer with laser. These ideas seemed so fresh, so magic and so attractive to me. Thus, when I filled the university application form, Optics became my first choice. I was very excited when I received my admission letter.


 


A new life was opened to me when I came into Shandong University. As I knew, the department of Optics here played a very important role in domestic institutes. I was sure that I could receive the best education here, learn what I want to learn and after several years study I can become a researcher who can put forward some interesting ideas. With this belief, I worked very hard  and gained very high result in every exam.  At that time, my university life was full of passion and happiness. It was colorful. In addition to learn the knowledge in textbooks, I also read some books in my spare time. And then, troubles came to me one after another.


 


When I was in grade three, I strongly felt there must be something wrong in my study. Yes, everything seemed go well from the surface. My results in exams were still good. My rank in class remained. But that was not enough. To me, the knowledge I got from the textbooks only came into power when it was in textbooks and papers. I didn’t know what it was in real life, letting alone to use it in directing my practical work. What was the reason? How could I deal with the problem? I tried to change my study methods, but that was no use. I tried to take GRE exam because I thought it might be better if I studied abroad. But soon I realized things would be the same no matter where I studied if I couldn’t find out the reason. So I tuned to books for help. I began to read some scientists biography to know how they studied and did research work. After reading Surely You Are Joking Mr. Feynman, I realized what I needed to do was to observe, to find questions and their answers. Life seemed bright again.


 


But when I was addicted in this happy sunlight, my belief suddenly collapsed. One night, I realized we were destroying our life with the things we created. I asked myself what invent has brought to our life. The lamp makes night as bright as day. The machines liberate us from heavy labor. But the uncontrolled use of energy resources leads to the short of them, except for bringing green house effect. We can take almost everything with us in plastic bags but the environment around us was full of white waste that cannot be disgregated. Computer has become a necessary assistant to human brains. We can get in touch with any of our friends by cellphone no matter where he is. But the electromagnetic radiation brought by these smart tools is harm to our health. What’s worse, we cannot predict the harmful effect because we are the first generation users of these digital products. Yes, laser can cure cancer. But why there are so many people suffering cancer today? What can laser bring to us because laser didn’t exist before 1960’s? These smart things make our life much more convenient, but meantime they make the earth more unsuitable for human beings.


 


I didn’t know how these strange ideas came into my mind. Since there is no good to create things that don’t exist, why should I study to create them? I think the aim of scientific research is to discover the principle behind phenomena, to understand how the universe runs and then to make human beings adapt the nature better. It is not to change the nature, to conquer the nature and to let the nature service us better, because our human beings is a part of nature. We never can be separated. I lose my belief, my hope and of course my passion of study. Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy, too strange. Normal people never think of this. I long for yesterday. At that time, no things bothered me. I just studied and felt very happy in study, though I didn’t know why to study. I know those days will never come back.


 


But fortunately, when I almost finish this paper, I suddenly realize the reason for my puzzles. Changing is one of the most fundamental characters of the world. We are damaging the nature, but meantime, we are indeed bettering it. In this balance, finding a proper position for myself is the most important thing. I think I have found. To be a discoverer, refusing to be a conqueror. And laser, the most beautiful and magical light in the world, is what I want to devote my career to. I believe it will bring me the happiest life.