哎呀，一眨眼，又是一个星期三晚上！

哎呀，一转眼，上班已经4个月了！

上班以来，特别是最近2个月，感觉时间象流逝的速度突然比以前快了许多倍。于是我常常分不清星期三和星期四，常常在意识到今天是星期三或者是星期四的时候吃惊，常常在星期五的时候感慨，怎么又是一个周末？

不过，时间这东西，就是有时过得快有时过得慢。这两天感冒了，每天呆在办公室里穿3层衣服，有种回到国内的感觉。穿得厚了，人就变得懒洋洋的，一天也看不完一个文档。下了班，今天例外我是一个人，于是呆在办公室玩了会，又看会东西，离开的时候突然感到久违的轻松，有劲和冲动。真想让我的感冒一下子变好呀！

－－领了4个月工资，却还没有余粮，真的好好计划一下了。

－－学了2个月越南话，将要走到放弃的边缘，得好好计划一下了。

－－生活哦，还有很长的路要走，要做什么，不要做什么，也得好好计划一下了。

After being happy for so many days, now I start to feel unhappy.

The feeling of happy is mostly the same, but unhappy can come in many different ways.

Yesterday was a very unhappy day for me. Here, I write down the reasons that lead me to unhappiness, and hope these won’t repeat.

Starting from the day before yesterday, the problem came from sleeping. Last last last night, I stayed up until two, without any reason. Even though I slept from 11pm to 8:30am last last night, I still feel I didn’t have enough rest.

In the office, everyone was still waiting for projects. I took a look at "my new project", but I couldn’t understand what all those codes and files were doing. I read the specification documents. There were just too many. Soon, I feel tired and sleepyyyyyyyyy.

After lunchtime, I made a mistake, by looking through photos inside my friend’s camera. She forgot to delete all those photos before lending the camera to me. I forgot to ask for permissions before seeing all. One or two more things happened then but I couldn’t document here.

After work six of us colleagues went to play badminton. It was supposed to be ten people going, but six was fine. I was tired after it. I am not a regular player anyway.

In the night, I just want to rest. I wanted to have a beer, but my stomach was still full. Then I planned to sleep at eleven. However, through sms and yahoo messenger from my colleagues, I learned that our salary was not increased this month and no bonus was given to us. We expected it and now we are disappointed.

Ji Cheng came to me just before 11pm and asked me about the the webpage we wrote. There was one stupid bug left unresolved. It just was just displayed incorrect in IE and the error was not from my side. However, we decided to write script to patch the problem. Writing the code and debugging it lasted till 12am plus. When I went to bed, it was 1am.

I started to replay the day in my head. I asked questions like, how could I foresee the future? What could I do if I foresee something not expected in the following year? Also, what if you were not proud of your partner?

I knew I could not fall asleep. Even I didn’t think about those questions, I would think about other things. I just could not sleep when my mind was still excited. DAMM IT. No programming before sleeping!

So, I got up. I brought my laptop to the living room and connected it to the router via LAN cable. That was because my flat mates were downloading from the Internet, I couldn’t access Internet through web browser. I removed the antenna of the router so that no wireless for my flat mates, haha.

I read 6park forum. Not too stupid.

However, staying up was definitely not good for me. I felt hungry!

I felt even hungrier after getting up this morning. Before getting up, I just wished I need not get up today.

Boycott to Chinese Websites

I decide not to read Chinese websites as much as I can. Two websites "forced" me to make this decision: 6park.com and sports,sina.com.cn.

6park.com is the largest and most popular Chinese forum for oversea Chinese people, so far as I know. It caters to students and professionals that from China and currently live in foreign countries. It has many sections, Jokes, Politics, History, Military, Computer, Music, Traveling, Cooking, and many others.

I often read its home page, where I can find various selected news from news agencies. There are often many "news" from entertainment industry. I don’t like those.

Last Sunday I read a featured article from 6park home page, titled as "Two Fatal Disease of China". This article was in lines of news but it comes from nowhere. No reference was given. I guess it comes from some untitled famous Chinese website/forum.

The article criticized that Chinese people have two major problems: 1, always have the feeling of hate western people as invaders as well as Japanese, always have sympathy of themselves. 2, always think China as a Big Country.

The author argues a lot, refers to Mao Zedong, and Qin Shi Huang. However, he/she doesn’t have valid evidence or strong arguments.

After reading that article, I had uneven feeling for a while. I don’t know what happen to the author. He/she says very badly of the current government, current education system, but itself is obviously trained from the current system. He/she speaks so high of western world, but the good things from western, like logic, is not shown in the article.

I also find problems with Chinese people. They argue too much, not in a good way. When I read some Chinese websites, I feel all contents are limited.

Another website I decided to get rid of is the soccer news page from sina.com.cn. In the same way I don’t like Chinese soccer commentators, the news in this website includes too much comments from individuals and less facts and news. And they don’t really care about the small clubs.

OK. I had enough with those non-sense comments. That’s why I want to boycott to those websites.

I may have a difficult time surfing net, without those familiar sites.

It’s OK. I’ll find other sites to feed myself. Haha~

===============

After more than twenty years’ fast development, Chinese people are getting richer and richer, which means the “hardware” in China is getting better, however, the “software” isn’t improved much. Chinese people need great thinkers, so that they know how to value their traditions and how to use their wisdoms. Now, China still needs to learn from the west.

Use more facts and logics, less argues. 

==============

I really had uneven feeling about that article. It’s bad. But it’s hard for me to control my feelings. Still need improvements on this.

最近还好？（How are you?) ＝ Love, Family, Career, Health, Mood.

最近收到Kris的Email, 只有4个字，最近还好？
I recently received an email from Kris, which has only four Chinese characters, are you OK recently?

之前打电话给Fanfan, 国庆长假她回郑州家里。我们聊了很多，工作，理想，将来生活的地方等等。我跟她说，我一直都觉得自己总是生活在一个很小的圈子里，这个很难改变，幸运的是我现在正在把自己的小圈子从一个地方挪去另一个地方。现在我的圈子比以前更加international一些，哈哈。
I called Fanfan when she went back Zhengzhou home during the National Day “Golden Week” holiday. We talked a lot, job, dream, future residence place, etc. I told her, I always feel that I’m living in a very small zone. This fact is hard to change. Luckily, I’m now moving my zone from one place to another. Now, my zone is more “international” than before. Haha~

很久没有给1st Song打电话了。我现在也不象以前那样，常常觉得无聊于是常常打电话跟她聊天了。我最近打给她了，可能她在忙吧，都没接。下午4，5点，或者晚上8，9点，我怎么样才知道国内的人是否在忙着呢？也许，她又找了个男朋友没告诉我？呵呵，有可能，祝她好运吧。
I haven’t called 1st Song for long. I’m not like before, when I often felt boring so that I often chatted with her through international call. I called her recently but the calls were rejected. Maybe she was busy at that time. How could I now whether people in China were busy or not at four five pm, or eight nine pm? Maybe, she found another boyfriend and hasn’t tell me. Hehe~ possible. Wish her good luck.

Frankly speaking, I once thought I would someday marry one of these three girls. However, I changed my mind now. Luckily, I’m not sad about this.

So, how am I now?

Love = none.

Still, luckily, I don’t worry about that. I don’t feel bad. And I don’t intend to look for a girlfriend in the near future. I’m still young enough to expect a romantic love, haha~ Once I feel I want to get married, I then will lower my “standards”.

Family = noChange

I call home every week. My parents don’t really talk much with me. I have no intention to tell them my planned trip to Vietnam. They don’t want to know this as they usually feel that’s kind of wasting money. My mom only wants me to eat well and rest well. My dad still describes my work as DaGong.

It’s autumn in my hometown and it’s getting colder. I miss home, and miss the weather there.

Career = OK

For this, I can write in a separate chapter but generally speaking it’s OK.

I don’t really know how well I am doing. However, my direction is OK now. And I have friends in similar industries, like IT companies. I can hear from them and adjust my direction later.

I need some skills, strength, determination, and good working habits.

Health = noChange

I’ve been eating well, sleeping well since moving to Potong Pasir, but my weight is almost the same.

Mood = happy

This criterion is important to me.

Luckily, I’m happy. One important thing is put myself in a happy mood before worrying about the future. Haha~