2004年07月27日

go and look! 走着瞧

good good study,day day up 好好学习,天天向上 

go a head! 去个头! 

people mountain people sea 人山人海 

poor light egg 穷光蛋

day day do morning f**k! 天天做早操

i saw a man saw a saw with a saw~~~~ 我看到一个男人拿一把锯子在锯一把锯子

kill one police hundred 杀一警百

fat head fish 胖头鱼

gold basih washes my hands! 金盆洗手

you me you me 彼此彼此

horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎

you give me stop!! 你给我站住!!

fish yes 于(鱼)是

see you tomorrow 谁又偷猫肉

sir, you going down? 先生,你够淫荡 

know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之,不知为不知

5 talks, 4 beauties & 3 loves五讲四美三热爱

why? 为什么

no why! 不为什么

why no why? 为什么不为什么

no why no why! 不为什么不为什么

how are you?怎么是你?

go and look! 走着瞧

good good study,day day up 好好学习,天天向上 

go a head! 去个头! 

people mountain people sea 人山人海 

poor light egg 穷光蛋

day day do morning f**k! 天天做早操

i saw a man saw a saw with a saw~~~~ 我看到一个男人拿一把锯子在锯一把锯子

kill one police hundred 杀一警百

fat head fish 胖头鱼

gold basih washes my hands! 金盆洗手

you me you me 彼此彼此

horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎

you give me stop!! 你给我站住!!

fish yes 于(鱼)是

see you tomorrow 谁又偷猫肉

sir, you going down? 先生,你够淫荡 

know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之,不知为不知

5 talks, 4 beauties & 3 loves五讲四美三热爱

why? 为什么

no why! 不为什么

why no why? 为什么不为什么

no why no why! 不为什么不为什么

how are you?怎么是你?

中式早點
烧饼     Clay oven rolls
油条     Fried bread stick
韭菜盒    Fried leek dumplings
水饺     Boiled dumplings
蒸饺     Steamed dumplings
馒头     Steamed buns
割包     Steamed sandwich
饭团     Rice and vegetable roll
蛋饼     Egg cakes
皮蛋     preserved egg
咸鸭蛋    Salted duck egg
豆浆     Soybean milk 
饭 类
稀饭     Rice porridge
白饭     Plain white rice
油饭     Glutinous oil rice
糯米饭    Glutinous rice
卤肉饭    Braised pork rice
蛋炒饭    Fried rice with egg
地瓜粥    Sweet potato congee

面 类
馄饨面    Wonton & noodles
刀削面    Sliced noodles
麻辣面    Spicy hot noodles
麻酱面    Sesame paste noodles
鴨肉面    Duck with noodles
鱔魚面    Eel noodles
乌龙面    Seafood noodles
榨菜肉丝面  Pork , pickled mustard green noodles
牡蛎细面   Oyster thin noodles
板条     Flat noodles
米粉     Rice noodles
炒米粉    Fried rice noodles
冬粉     Green bean noodle

汤 类
鱼丸汤    Fish ball soup
貢丸汤    Meat ball soup
蛋花汤    Egg & vegetable soup
蛤蜊汤    Clams soup
牡蛎汤    Oyster soup
紫菜汤    Seaweed soup
酸辣汤    Sweet & sour soup
馄饨汤    Wonton soup
猪肠汤    Pork intestine soup
肉羹汤    Pork thick soup
鱿鱼汤    Squid soup
花枝羹    Squid thick soup

甜 点
爱玉     Vegetarian gelatin
糖葫芦    Tomatoes on sticks
长寿桃    Longevity Peaches
芝麻球    Glutinous rice sesame balls
麻花     Hemp flowers
双胞胎    Horse hooves

冰 类
绵绵冰    Mein mein ice
麦角冰    Oatmeal ice
地瓜冰    Sweet potato ice
紅豆牛奶冰  Red bean with milk ice
八宝冰    Eight treasures ice
豆花     Tofu pudding

果 汁
甘蔗汁    Sugar cane juice
酸梅汁    Plum juice
杨桃汁    Star fruit juice
青草茶    Herb juice

点 心
牡蛎煎    Oyster omelet
臭豆腐    Stinky tofu
油豆腐    Oily bean curd
麻辣豆腐   Spicy hot bean curd
虾片     Prawn cracker
虾球     Shrimp balls
春卷     Spring rolls
蛋卷     Chicken rolls
碗糕     Salty rice pudding
筒仔米糕   Rice tube pudding
红豆糕    Red bean cake
绿豆糕    Bean paste cake
糯米糕    Glutinous rice cakes
萝卜糕    Fried white radish patty
芋头糕    Taro cake
肉圆     Taiwanese Meatballs
水晶饺    Pyramid dumplings
肉丸     Rice-meat dumplings
豆干     Dried tofu

其 他
当归鸭    Angelica duck
槟榔     Betel nut
火锅          Hot pot

中国家庭并不常用电话答录机(Answering Machine),但在北美家庭,几乎家家都用。外来电话拨入时,若该电话号码的主人不在,就会让拨入者听到一段留言,这叫Answer。绝大多数的Answer都是千篇一律的:说明主人不在,请拨入者留下简短信息及姓名电话号码等。

  以下几则特别的 Answer 体现了美国佬的幽默,你能体会出其幽默所在吗?

1) My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.

2) Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.

3) Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep(beep:主人的Answer讲完以后,Answer Machine会发出一声beep, 这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。).

4) Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets(磁铁).

注:通常情况下,来电话者面对录音讲话都不太自然,所以语言往往很急促,三句两句话就完了。这可苦坏了接听留言的主人,听多少遍都听不清留言者到底是谁,讲了些什么。对于母语非英文的人,这种感觉会更深。所以,以下这两段幽默干脆就首先告诉电话拨入者,我的Answer Machine不好使,你且慢慢来。

5) Hello, this is Sally’s microwave. Her answering machine just eloped(私奔) with her tape deck(磁带驱动器), so I’m stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

6) Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding(墙板,壁板), windows, or a hot tub(浴盆), and their carpets are clean. They give to charity(慈善团体) through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

7) Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Smile This is not an answering machine — this is a telepathic(心灵感应术) thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

注:tone:与对第3)句beep 的注释含义完全一样,主人的Answer讲完以后,Answer Machine会发出一声beep, 这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。

9) Hi, this is George. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

10) If you are a burglar(夜贼), then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.

11) You’re growing tired. Your eyelids(眼皮) are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower(毅力) and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to(感到无助而被迫做某事) leave your name, number, and a message.

12) Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
注:you have the right to remain silent:电影电视里警察出示逮捕令时常讲的一句话。西方社会讲究人权,任何疑犯在未审判之前不得认为有罪,因而不能逼供、更不可拷打:他们有权保持沉默。

13) Hello, you’ve reached Jim and Sonya. We can’t pick up the phone right now, because we’re doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right … real slowly. So leave a message, and when we’re done brushing our teeth, we’ll get back to you.

昨天来了个老外,进到办公室,前台小姐左看右看,大家都在打游戏,只有自己比较清闲,面带微笑的:

前台小姐:“Hello.”

老外:“Hi.”

前台小姐:“You have what thing?”

老外:“Can you speak english?”

前台小姐:“If I not speak english, I am speaking what?”

老外:“Can anybody else speak english?”

前台小姐:“You yourself look. All people are playing, no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go!”

老外:“Good heavens. Anybody here can speak English?”

前台小姐:“Shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing?”

老外:“I want to speak to your head.”

前台小姐:“Head not zai. You tomorrow come!”