It takes a lot for me to say that a movie is horrible, but "The Perfect Man" has given me plenty of ammunition. It was so bad that I nearly erased it from my memory, and writing this review is requiring me to search the farthest depths of my consciousness to bring the memory of this movie back to the surface. The only reason I was able to sit through the whole thing was because of my love for the Duffster, but sadly not even she made this movie worthwhile.

First of all there are NUMEROUS plot holes. The most glaring one seems to be the fact that they never explain where the father/husband figure is. He supposedly abandons his family after impregnating his wife (for the second time, mind you). This brings me to the second plot hole. The age difference between the two daughters, if I remember correctly, is something like 9 years. If they have the same father, why did it take him 9 years to realize they weren’t worth staying with when I wanted to leave them after the first 30 minutes? If you know the answer to this, please share it with me.

Then there is the apartment they live in. The family supposedly moves every time Locklear’s character gets dumped. The movie also drills into the viewers head how poor the family is. They somehow seem to be able to afford a moderately sized NYC apartment, well furnished, in a seemingly nice part of town. They can also afford internet access for Duff’s brand new laptop, all on Locklear’s baker salary.

Duff’s character makes a best friend at school before she even gets inside the building. Am I the only person who finds this unlikely? Halfway through the movie the friend disappears with no explanation. Once she serves her purpose, she leaves, and no one seems to miss her.

Locklear works as a baker at a bakery, as I mentioned earlier, and is pursued by a coworker throughout the movie. At first it would seem this is meant for comic relief, as he is retarded and wholly unlikable as a person. They go on a date, it doesn’t go well, and we think that’s the end of him. The writers, however, seemed to have a different idea when writing the script. He keeps coming back, for no reason, and each time he did I grew more and more furious, especially the moment (I won’t give it away for those of you who still want to see the movie) when he does something so outrageous, so enormously unbelievable, that I could not believe what was actually happening on screen.

The younger sister’s character is completely pointless. Not only is she obnoxious and annoying, she does nothing. She adds nothing to the movie, but takes away plenty. It did not help that the actress playing her is a horrible actress. I realize she’s just a kid, but still. Unacceptable.

I can not stress to you enough how horrible this movie is. It was embarrassing enough asking for a ticket to the movie, and after seeing it I understand why the ticket taker could not help laughing at me.