...I am afraid that I may lose the whole world...never know that i am so into this relationship...i told jeta, who judged that i was done and were the slave of someone, "你就当我死了吧". Yes, i am happy to be HIS. Even if i have forseen the posibility of being hurt, betrayed or abandoned, and i clearly know the truth that i am over 25, i still feel eager to fall so deep into a relationship with this very guy, this is not a gambol but a way to feel complete, and curiously, the only way to heal my wound from the last loss of love. After 3 years and finally, i confessed that i have been a wounded person in heart. Not because of E, he did nothing wrong to me, it was the doubt that hurt me much, the doubt that if i truly had the ability to be with someone, to know and bear with someone, while ignoring the unhappiness of myself.
So it's all okay dear, just learn to feel secure, which u have never managed to do; he's not gonna hurt you, he's with a kind heart and love for you. If he's evil deep down inside, you will always know how to leave. But now, be fearless and magnanimous, to him and to yourself, 'cause the most precious true love is not from anyone else but from yourself.
You can feel love only when you feel torture. That means something, and stick to it. Be nickle.
I love ya.
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